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Quantity: $3.50 Bumper sticker. “Vegetarians taste better." 3-inch x 11.5-inch Weather & fade resistant.

Quantity: $5.50 Magnetic bumper sticker. “Vegetarians taste better." 3-inch x 11.5-inch. Weather & fade resistant. Slap it on the car, fridge or file cabinet.

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Vegetarians Taste Better

At first, I hesitated to add this sticker to my collection. After all, it could be taken to mean that vegetarians are edible, and tasty too. 

But that doesn't make any sense. Most people aren't cannibals. I think most meat-eaters would sooner eat a Brussels sprout than eat a vegetarian -- but I could be wrong.

I finally decided that it was more likely that this sticker means that vegetarians have better taste. But if that is what it means, why doesn't it just say that: VEGETARIANS HAVE BETTER TASTE. 

Then I thought, maybe this sticker is making a sexual reference. I think this occurred to me one day a few weeks ago when I was having sexual thoughts. At the time, I didn't mention it to anyone. It really didn't seem like the right time. 

But I think the time has come: If I could have your attention please ... I think this sticker is making a sexual reference. 

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my mind is in the gutter. Maybe this is a cannibal joke being made at the expense of vegetarians. 

But as a vegetarian, I prefer the kinder, gentler, sexier interpretation. As my wife is fond of telling people, I have a habit of thinking insults are compliments. It could have something to do with my super-sized ego. As my wife often reminds me, some compliments are really insults. 

But not this time. This sticker is definitely praising  vegetarians for their sexual gifts. As a vegan, I really appreciate that. Now, if only I could find a sticker that says, "Vegans taste best."

Dan R. Frazier